A dream that will never come true
I spent an ungodly amount of my early childhood and teenage years dreaming of becoming a doctor. I was hooked from the beginning thinking about it during the days and months when I was watching one of the best TV series of the time: Life line at Doordarshan. This was in the late eighties.
That wonderful TV series has, to a great extent, changed the way I thought about myself as a person and what I should be doing to find something useful in life that will, peacefully, reach retirement age, so to speak. . to talk. The dreaming part is one thing, but having everything according to your dream, the practicality of it: regardless of whether it will work as expected, is quite another.
As things stand now, I think I have a pretty good idea why I didn’t progress to become what I had originally wanted, and I continue to criticize myself about it every day. However, this hard fact of life had left behind many harrowing and emotional things that once took deep root within me to some kind of clear resolution, as he seems to have understood very well that my dream will never come true, ever.
Despite that, somehow something remains, perhaps in small amounts; and I’m okay that as reality set in, I ended up relieved of the weight of the unrequited dream even as I discovered another dream on the way to my adulthood. Hence this opinion piece.
Hope, desire, fantasy…
Studying medical sciences was perhaps not in the good books of my destiny, it was not a coincidence. So the story, as far as I could tell, would have reached a dead end right at that point had it not been for the good old fashioned existential angst coupled with the feeling of my unrealized dream still wanting to keep me haunted like a boogeyman to this day. Now that the old dream had invariably become a cold distant memory of the past, all that remains now is a bittersweet aftertaste, however. Except for the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, it’s still fresh.
Fine, Jeeves, but look at me, I haven’t even moved to become your typical medical representative in a tie! And I know how much this has cost me personally for a long time.
It just so happened that I shied away from realizing my dream of entering a medical school after fainting in high school (located in one of the most beautiful but isolated regions of the hinterland of Indian Air Force stations). Why? Because, in the first place, I didn’t want to be impatient step by step with the exhausting lifting of my school by babalog predictably dull career aspirations that serve nothing but the Zenith that will ensure a bright future and all that, and secondly, what bothered me was actually his cheeky laugh about the non-medical, non-engineering aspirations of other people in the service of the Nadir that will guarantee a cup of tea at most!
Little did they know that they were treating their career goals as mere future investments to make big bucks and perhaps afford a lavish lifestyle? On the contrary, my philosophy of life, fortunately, was not as clichéd and sensation-seeking as theirs. I was more or less a condescending, persuasive and docile young teenager, smiling, who also enjoyed taking risks. As they played it safe by choosing a “respected” and “tried and proven” vocation like engineering, I looked away with gratitude and disinterest. Even after all their boasting, I don’t blame them for their attitude issues towards unconventional next-gen transmissions that gradually came into fashion. They did what they wanted to do: pursue studies of their “choice”, that is. On the other hand, I did what I wanted to do: inhabit a world where there are fewer but quality Engineers, of course. I sound sullen, but that’s an inescapable reality, you know.
Understandably, his fantasy of becoming an engineer was undoubtedly coming true and goals were also being achieved and why the hell not? When you know the work of how to make that final push to cross the line, success is yours. Surprisingly, even the guy with the protruding teeth I used to know once from my high school days plus two (senior high) did just fine on his own. Being a Bucky, this guy looked like a poor man’s Freddie Mercury, not from the town of Balsara but from Sribathtub of the dusty hinterland of the ‘BIMARU states’, was no hindrance to this gigantic long-limbed Goliath earning his khetibaadi(agribusiness) battles, apparently! But sadly, most of these cranky schoolboys from whom this Bucky was, in a way, an inseparable gangbanger, all of them zealous baby teeth, aspired to get an ‘Engineering’ or ‘Medical’ degree or nothing as if not There was once another career option in the pecking order! (What about the trees, the birds, the forests, the water and the Antarctic ice when we talk about the foolish humans impacting our planet Earth?) Imagine.
As for me, well, the less said the better because, you know, I had to blink and squint and miss the bus of potential med school opportunities; yes, he still despised doing any of the oversaturated streams of the horned engineering career. Therefore, I did not become a doctor of humans or animals, not even plants or birds.
However, I, as if I had drunk some kind of bootleg hemlock, could simply get by and become a lifelong student of my first loves: zoology and biology, without becoming a professional biologist, botanist, or zoologist! How foolish of me. I know, I know, that’s life. But software engineering came much later.
By the way, speaking of Bio and Zoology, it is definitely conciliatory to know that the world is ours and where we come from, but it is definitely not when you realize where we are going and where we are going. With all of the Earth’s climate change, global warming, rising temperatures, and the extinction of animal and plant species that we see and hear but do nothing about, we’re certainly not going anywhere clean but directly to an unsanitary place. HELL to burn! However, that is a different and sad story of the need and greed of humanity, which is better not to give lessons because nobody likes him, I hardly ever thought, least of all the greedy engineers, of doing something resolutely to save our planet. , our only home.
With a withered Earth mother, how could I become an Engineer? What will I design? From my humble point of view, I would say that the Earth does not need any Engineer, it needs Biology. Migrate to Mars, oh Plundering Engineers of the world; It is very likely that the Red Planet needs Engineers more than our Earth! go there.
How about getting back to the point, on our beloved planet Earth? Here we go…
While it’s still a great thing for me to appreciate that conciseness.”ignorance is welcome“The proverb cannot (no more, no!) be used with me, I insist that it was not due to some preoccupation of ignorance that I did not pursue my dream of becoming a doctor. I had quite a good arsenal of ambitions, no doubt – and I don’t give credit to anyone but my parents for instilling it in me, I think it was rather the scare of rigor (Ragrapattiin Hindi) and the terrifying thought of grossing out my friends that this humble mimosa modest (shy plant) of one person would not really be interested, compared to others who teased each other (with pleasure!) for contracting the infectious disease of success and achievement and put our planet on a dangerous path of destruction. (That’s just a perspective, nothing more.)
I think this kind of deliberate misbehavior of pestering friends to study your lessons inflicts irreparable damage on everyone. For my part, I could never tolerate or live with such a thing, so I quickly walked away from these goofy guys and their scheme of things that is bound to conflict with what I call the principle of a great unconditional friendship. Adding to that laconic problem is the fact that the rat race never stops at med school, never stops there; never begins and never ends! Now, that was really too much for the teen sneaking up on me to handle.
Still, how can one simply ignore that his beloved dream of becoming a doctor never comes true? One cannot simply be so ignorant as not to be able to realize one’s levels of competence and limitations of long-term commitment before moving forward with the fulfillment of the dream. So please don’t dismiss the term ignorance on me just to make you feel good. Oh God, that would be demeaning, a taboo I’m so afraid to bring on myself.
Having felt everything I’ve felt so far, I can honestly say that for some people life can’t always be neat and tidy so that everything is tidy in the end. I still like to say that I look to the Past to live quite well in the Present but, having said that, I don’t necessarily have to look to the Future, do I? What’s in the future? March? That Red planet? Oh come on, Humanity, don’t give me that sci-fi poop again!
I’ll leave it like this. Too complicated to get in there. Phew!
