words of remembrance for my angel
For those who don’t know me, I’m Dominique Bagnoche, Amy’s daughter. You probably know or recognize who I am because my mother was extremely passionate about her family. Each of us is here today to honor the memory of my mother and acknowledge the precious ways she touched so many lives in countless different ways. She was a mother, a wife, a co-worker, a co-founder of PINK, a friend, and took on many other roles.
She was strong, selfless, positive and her presence lit up any room she walked into. She loved that the people around her knew how much she loved them; she always assured me that you can never tell someone “I love you” too often. It amazes me how she consistently went above and beyond to make sure my brother and I gave the best life possible, no matter what sacrifices she went through in this process.
If there was something my mom wanted from her life, she went out and made it happen; whether it’s marrying my dad, starting a nonprofit, being a mom and working full time, taking a last minute vacation, or taking a trip to Saks. She was satisfied and fulfilled with her life because she understood that she was in control of her own happiness. She though she understood and accepted that some things in her life were out of her control, like this terrible disease that claimed her presence on earth. In August of this year, she was dealt cards in life that were difficult to play. She knew that a terminal illness was in charge of what was going to happen to her body, but not to her mind and spirit.
Since I was a little girl, my mother has taught me to live each day to the fullest and not take the time you value and take for granted. If the time you value is the time you spend with your friends, traveling, playing with your dogs, volunteering, spending time with your partner; It doesn’t matter, as long as you live each day exactly how you want.
Easier said than done, however, my mother lived her entire life this way. Before her first breast cancer diagnosis five years ago, she lived this way. Having won her battle with her first diagnosis, she gained a strong inspiration to make sure that everyone around her lived her life in the most fulfilling way possible, not just being alive, but living life. .
We can all find comfort in the passing of my mother because she had no regrets as she reflected on her 49 years of life on earth. Throughout these last few months, she couldn’t believe how many people reached out to her and honored her in such kind ways. I told her that these kind acts were happening because of how much she cared for others and she gave whatever she could to help anyone in need. I still don’t think she fully understood this because for her, helping other people was her normal daily life without even realizing it and the way she lived was the only way she wanted.
I can remember one night, a few weeks ago, lying in bed with her, and she said, “I’m happy, I really am. Even if I try, I can’t think of a regret I’d have if I died right now.” I really love my life, the one thing I’ll never understand is how I got so lucky with it.”
I will never forget her saying this.
His passing may be an inspiration for each of us to take advantage of the beautiful little things that life has to offer every day. My mother’s joy and true happiness for life was truly remarkable.
I know I’m not alone when I say that she will be in my heart forever, but there is a hole in my heart that will always be there. I’m not sure how I’m going to cope with the loss of my best friend and mother. I know that I have been my mother’s little companion all my life, and I hope to follow in her footsteps and become a strong woman who can face a traumatic loss, as she would like.
If I didn’t at least try to find something positive in the passing of my dear and loving positive mother, then I wouldn’t be her daughter.
As Abraham Lincoln said,
“All that I am or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”
