"Oh my left!" – Reflections on manners of the etiquette educator
You don’t know what you don’t know: a truism that rears its ugly head every time you interact with other people in public places. I hope you have not inadvertently offended anyone today. Adults and children, captains of industry and junior executives alike benefit from the polished, refined etiquette and soft skills training it brings. You certainly put yourself in an awkward position when you don’t know what to do or say in a myriad of situations.
I don’t think etiquette or manners should be a super strict set of rules, but rather an out of body experience that allows a person to bestow kindness and consideration towards others. This is the basis of my lectures, regardless of the composition of the audience. It is also the core of what is missing in our society. When we put the desires of others before our own, we also win through gratification. “Oh my left!” Etiquette and soft skills training courses reach dozens of people in a wide variety of disciplines. It is a pleasure and an honor to be called on by corporate executives to train their employees in the boardroom and their children in their classrooms. It is the best job in the world.
It is a great responsibility to guide people in self-presentation skills. It baffles me to have to continually reiterate the impression that wearing flip-flops silently conveys to those around you, whether you’re wearing them to a ladies’ luncheon in a hotel ballroom, to the office, or to the summer party at the your boss’s garden, all true examples. What does wearing flip flops silently say about you? Every flip and flop and pop-pop sound of rubber hitting the bottom of your foot says “I don’t care” and “My comfort is more important than your impression of me.”
While we’re on the subject of flip flops, let’s spend a moment on inappropriate summer footwear. I am all for sexy strappy sandals in the summer months, however there is a time and place for this style. In the office on a 90+ degree day is not such a place. Also professional environments require closed shoes. I don’t care how cute you think your toes are, not the fact that you got your pedicure yesterday. To the junior associate who wore flip flops and shorts to the law firm’s garden party, shame on you. I cringed when the story was discussed during the question-and-answer period at a recent conference. This particular show was aimed at his executive superiors and manners, otherwise I have no doubt he would have been assigned to attend.
We have a lot to discuss, from deference and respect to titles and handling conflict with good manners. Manners are the way we show people that we matter. I plan to guide you, your colleagues and your children step by step on how to shine in every situation and stand out from the crowd simply by doing what others refuse to do. Like I said, it’s an incredible responsibility, but someone has to take it.
