Public speaking: the icing on the cake of a great speaker: sympathy
Have you ever seen a speaker who seemed to “have it all” – solid content, well-done visuals, and a dynamic presentation – but something was “wrong”? You just didn’t “like” the person? And of course, when you don’t like someone, then it will be quite difficult for you to accept their information or be persuaded by that person.
This is a very subjective area. Some may like a person and others may not for all sorts of reasons. However, there are some universal qualities that make up likeability. If you want to influence the audience, persuade them, or move them, then there is no doubt that you will be more successful if the audience feels warm and positive about you. If you are arrogant, indifferent or cold, your message is much less likely to influence the audience.
Here are some qualities that influence likability:
Focused on the audience. A speaker who is self-centered, primarily concerned with appearances and the technicalities of the presentation, will have a difficult time connecting with the audience. If you really care about your audience, listeners will feel much more receptive to you.
Authentic. The public will eventually detect the falsehood. You have to believe in what you are saying and have a sense of enthusiasm and conviction behind it. Many speakers I have trained insist that they are not sociable by nature and that being enthusiastic would mean they were being fake. But consider this: look at the last four letters of the word “ENTHUSIASM” and think, “I myself am sold.” If you believe what you are saying, it will show.
Goal humble confidence. Confidence is an attractive trait. But arrogance is not. What is the difference? Arrogance focuses on me: “Look at me.” “Look what I have accomplished.” “Look what I can do.” Trust focuses on others: “This is a great team.” “I couldn’t have done it without her.” “I am so proud of you.” As a speaker, you want to appear confident, but not arrogant. Be confident in your topic, but be humble with yourself.
Empathy. This trait is useful in question and answer sessions when interrogators may be upset and confused. Remember that this presentation is not just about you. Identify people’s confusion about the problem or frustration with the new changes. It will make you one of them and therefore more enjoyable.
Good listener. This may seem a bit ironic. How can the speaker also be a good listener? Most presentations involve some type of interaction with the audience, be it a question and answer session, a topic discussion, or a meeting facilitation. Your ability to speak to others, to really listen and listen to them, and to give appropriate and thoughtful responses will make it more enjoyable.
Interest in others. The ability to show interest, concern, and a kind of wide-eyed wonder at what others have to say is the kind of skill that will make people think of you positively and warmly. Especially when you’re in the “seat of power” of being the presenter, it’s a compelling trait to give the floor to others because you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Humor. Everybody likes to laugh. Laughter makes us feel good. If you have the ability to make your audience laugh, they will definitely like you more. Beware of jokes. A joke that is offensive or a real complaint is not going to win over your audience. The humor that comes from your daily life can be the most effective. The more you can show the audience that you are comfortable making fun of yourself, the more you will like it.
Pleasant attitude. Pessimistic, negative, and complaining people are magnets for only the same kind of people. Most of us prefer positive and optimistic people, who seem to enjoy life and have a good time. As the song says, be happy. Smile.
Don’t preach. Your goal as a public speaker is to inform or persuade, not lecture or lecture. You must be careful that your tone does not admonish your audience.
Respectful. If you annoy, embarrass, offend, or point at an audience member in a negative way, even if that person is booing or being rude and disrespectful to you, the audience will invariably side with one of their own. You cannot lower yourself to the level of the troublemaker. If you can keep grace under fire, the audience will like you.
